ok, I'll try those things. Thanks!
Edit:
the light is now 4 feet 6 inches (I guess that means from the floor?)
the ceiling was already set to matt
the light is now huge, lol, but it does now look softer.
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kitchenSH3D3-0again.png
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(light is now 4 foot 1 inch wide and 4 feet in depth.)